I want to be alone for awhile.

It’s 1AM and as usual I can’t bring myself to sleep. Blame on you thoughts.

Well. I’ll be gone for two days for we are having a school retreat this coming Monday and Tuesday, it’s going to be an overnight stay. We’ll be staying in our school retreat house somewhere in Tagaytay (up the mountains and hills). I’m anticipating for the hazy and chilly breeze. All cellphones, gadgets or any material that may destruct our attention will be surrendered before we step foot in the retreat house. So there, no internet and any outside connection for two days, I know it’s hard but I can manage it especially right now that all I want is time for myself so I didn’t see it as a big problem, it’s a more of an advantage to me. I’m looking forward to it  well except of course in the packing up part. It feels like I’m always forgetting something even though I’ve already ran the checklist for countless times.

Lately, there’s a lot of things going on in my life and right now I just want to be alone, even for a while. I need time to think about things. There’s a lot that I want to say but I can’t bring myself to explain them. There’s a lot going on within me, a lot really. I can’t fully recognize it or am I just repressing the thoughts because I’m afraid to admit it? Ugh. I don’t know, there are just things that you can’t even explain to your own self. I wish this retreat will help me to cope up with myself, to deal with life. Hopefully, after this soul searching retreat event, I’ll be able to kill this negative thoughts. Oh here I go again, negative thoughts.

I’m a little confused maybe all the pressure is coming up to my head. I need a break.

Will sleep now. Goodnight.

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One thought on “I want to be alone for awhile.

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