I avoid indulging myself into reading romantic novels because I have this bad habit of comparing their story to mine and I often end up feeling frustrated.
During our Tapatan (an open forum held every academic year with where students and school administrators, school deans, and department heads are gathered to share and exchange thoughts about school improvement and like issues), a student was asking when he could borrow a book(the title I forgot) that talks about religion and life since it was signed out by another user for a long time which happens to be a nun administrator. According to him, he is in need of this book because he needs guidance or some sort of enlightenment from the pressures of life, the sincere desperation obvious in his voice.
The head librarian responded with an apologetic tone saying that book is solely allowed only for professors and nuns (because our school is being run by Benedictine sisters) and I can see disappointment from the student’s face. I felt bad for him and at the same time I can’t keep wondering what does that book entails that it is strictly restricted from students? To think of, we are paying a quite sumptuous amount for the library fee, how fair is that? I can’t stop thinking that if they have no any intention to lend it to students, well at least they should have not included it in the book database in the first place, that way students won’t know that it exists in the collection. If they have done that in the beginning well at least they could have save that student from being disappointed and avoid further incidents like that. As a person who loves to read I can’t stop not to put myself in his shoes, it doesn’t feel good when you are being deprived from the things you want to learn. I mean what’s wrong with the desire to know more about life and religion? I thought library is a paradise within the huge walls with spines of books waiting to be awaken, I though it was a place for free knowledge, maybe I was wrong?
Or maybe I’m going to touchy and making things big but still what is wrong with that book? Is it too scientific or is anti-religion that they are afraid it might change the way we think? Does it requires high thinking capacity that is why only the people from the higher structure are allowed to get a hold of it. I felt a little bit insulted for thinking that although it was not explicitly stated by the head librarian. Well, I hope it doesn’t happen to me and for that student I wish he could find that book soon.
PS. Not blaming any of the library staff but still in wonder what is there basis for considering a book to be something NSFR.
Cellphones get their batteries low, laptops, tablets. Almost every gadget I know gets their batteries down and sometimes when overused it just turns dead, plain black screen and useless. That is the way of their saying they’re pretty tired, that they are at their edge.
But for a human being like me? Like you? How do you show people that you’re getting tired? How do you subtlety tell them that you’re almost reaching your limit? How do you let them know that this time you wanna be the one to be cared about? I know I’m making a bad comparison but I just want to say that people get tired too.
Sometimes you’ve grown so tired, you reach a certain point that you keep telling yourself to don’t care anymore, anyway its going to happen again and again, so why care? So you just sit down there, act like you’re fine and pretending not giving a shit but deep inside it’s hurting you. You stop caring, you stop doing the things you normally used to do for someone, you act plainly normal and you’re trying to decrease the affection you show for them (But who are you kidding? Admit it, you can’t care less.). In short, you’re treating them coldly.
You start acting cold as ice, like nothing’s wrong. But all you really want is to be noticed, you want them to notice your sudden change of behavior. You are waiting for them to ask you if you’re okay then you’ll probably answer everything’s doing fine. Then here goes you’re romantic imagination that they won’t buy your answer and will keep on asking you what’s troubling you til they arrive at the realization that they’ve done something bad to you and you want them to admit it themselves. You want them to be knowledgeable of their own shortcomings. The problem with guys is that no matter how long you’ve been together, they can’t easily sense that’s something’s troubling/hurting their partners. They should sense or know it even without questioning you. I’m not saying guys are insensitive but they can’t really afford to be as sensitive to someone’s feelings as we girls are.
Okay, to wrap up things, let me just clear it that when girls start acting cold, they’re not totally angry with you, they just want your loving, they want you to understand them. Guys, we can’t always lay everything in front of you, sometimes you have to seek it yourself. We just want you to care a little more.
PS: Am I too demanding? Let me know. These are just my thoughts.
Please don’t expect everyone to be always kind and loving. Sometimes they’ll be cold, thoughtless and hard to understand. Remember, it’s not all laugh and smiles all the time. Life also has its downside. Once in a while we experience passing on through the rocky side of the road, we all go through tough times that sometimes affects our attitude. We become inconsiderate to others, irritable at the most little things. Even a simple mistake drives the tumult of hell in us.
Before you presume that they’ve changed, try to understand them first. Have you ever thought of what they may be worrying about? Or what is causing them distress? Instead of minding you’re hurt feelings because you were treated coldly, understand them first. Sometimes all they need is someone to cry on, someone who will endlessly listen to their heart’s wail.
When someone’s going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words. -Thema Davis
People try their hardest to hide their problems and rather show a happy countenance but when things really get tough, it comes to a point that fake smiles and pretentious laughs becomes too expensive for a show. People get tired of acting, of pretending they’re okay. We were born slaves of our feelings and emotions, it’s up to us if we let it kill us or we kill it.
But no worries, everything will be alright again. This is just a chapter of one’s life, it’s normal to feel down as normal as feeling high. This too shall pass.
Have you ever felt sullenly distant and withdrawn from the one you love? You’re not angry, you just want them to care a little more.
Gawin mo na thesis mo.
How I wish you could see the potential of you and me. It’s like a book elegantly bound but in a language you can’t read just yet.